Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
