why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
