In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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