Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
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