That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
