I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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