is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
