Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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