dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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