I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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