He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
