Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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