So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
