My sheets look like a crime scene.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
