I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
