I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
