SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
