just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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