Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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