i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize