are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize