If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
this hospital has no fireball
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
