Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
