we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
what day is it and did you see me today?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You are a genius and a whore.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
