I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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