the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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