I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize