I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
