literally had 100 drinks last night.
Can Purell be used as lube?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
