how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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