She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
