Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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