her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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