It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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