do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
whose ass print is on the piano?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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