Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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