Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
