I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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