There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
