do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
