I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
