I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
And then he peed in my hair
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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