I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Everything about him screamed your future.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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