Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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