All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize