yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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