so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
