i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
