A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
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