birth control should be required to get into college
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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