quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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