oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
