I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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