Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize