My brain says no but my pants say off.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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