He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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