so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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