My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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