If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
