Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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