Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
