Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Randomize
