And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Randomize
