I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
