anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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