i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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