I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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