A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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