I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
