WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
