Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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